Jacques has been retired for a few months. He is married for 18 years to Adeline, 22 years younger. They have three children. A few months ago, Jacques became ill.
Living with a woman 22 years younger than you, is that a problem?
It would be very hypocritical to say yes ... You do not believe? I live with a young, beautiful, intelligent woman who gave me three beautiful children ... Would you like me to complain? When I met Adeline, she was 24 years old. She was beautiful. She worked with me. I have never had a Dom Juan, and yet, I can tell you that it was she who dredged me! Good, sweetly. She was pretty shy. But still. She wanted a relationship. I could have been his father ... Besides, his father is one year younger than me! So when we come to seduce a beautiful young woman like her, we do not ask too many questions. In any case, I did not ask myself.
How was the beginning of your adventure?
I was leaving a difficult divorce, very conflictual. I felt very lonely. She was very kind to me. It's a paradox ... but she has always been very maternal with me! And she still is.
I did not want a child anymore. I had a son who was about ten years old at the time. He suffered a lot from my divorce with his mother. I think I wanted her to take care of me exclusively.
But, she was young, she wanted to build a family. So we had a child. A son. She did not want him to remain an only son. So we started a second child. It was necessary to do an IVF. And finally we had binoculars.
So you were daddy quite late. You have loved ?
No. Honestly, no. It's for my wife that I accepted. When we had our first son, I was over 45 years old. It was still going. But the binoculars, it was heavy. They are 10 years old now. I was 54 when they were born. I was getting tired. I was a dad at the age of being a grandfather. It's my wife who took everything. She mothered me, and she nursed the children. She is perfect, really! She managed everything. She wanted these children, she took them. Well, I play my role as a father, of course, and I take care of it a lot.
You have health problems. Does this affect your marriage?
A few months ago, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. And it's very difficult for me. The treatments I followed resulted in helplessness. I will not draw you a picture. I am 64 years old. My wife has 43. And I can not satisfy her anymore. I know it's difficult for her, even though she tells me it does not matter, that sex is secondary. But for me, it's a daily nightmare. So much so that I dare not even give him a little hug. I know how it will end. I know the frustration that will generate ...
She talks to you about it?
She never complains. She takes care of me, she is my mother and my nurse. But, I also see that she has grown. She does not care less about her appearance. I can see she's sad. And I, on my side, feel diminished. I can not bear not feeling a man anymore.
In fact, at present, your relationship is far from peaceful ...
I'm aggressive with her, very often. All the more aggressive because she is an angel's patience. I know she's not mistaken. One day I talked to her and told her that if she wanted to, she could have a lover. Provided that I do not know it. She sent me to walk! She made me head for several days. It never happened to him. But the sacrifice side of his life is hard for me. At the same time, I would not be able to stand that she was cheating on me. We are in a strange situation ...
The opinion of the psychiatrist
The opinion of Dr. Youssef Mourtada:
It is clear that in the case of Jacques, it is he who suffers. As if he did not understand his wife's love for him. As if he was a little overwhelmed by all that.
It is likely that she projects her desire of the father on her husband. Practice for her: she becomes the perfect mother of an ideal father without risk of conflict with her mother. Love is often a narcissistic mirror game. Love comes to maturity when, precisely, we manage to get rid of this game.
This story shows the difficulties that can be encountered when the age difference is very important. He is sick, can no longer satisfy her. He does not feel like a man anymore ... close to her.
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