The advice of Joelle Mignot, clinical sexologist and psychologist. She is also the author of the book "Advice book for two of a woman in love".
Can the routine that gradually sets up in the couple be a brake on desire?
It is true that the routine often leads to a certain weariness. This is one of the main difficulties that patients come to see. Suddenly, we have less desire, because there is more surprise, no more really expectations either, and little by little there is a loss of interest in sexuality. Yet everything is about creativity, and discoveries. The more varied your sex life, the less likely you are to fall into the routine. It sounds obvious, but it's a real job. Sometimes it takes a little effort, but it's a two-way thing.
Should we see in this decline of desire a sign that the couple is in danger?
Sexuality is a complex thing. It is something alive in the couple, but also through every individual. This is why when a problem arises, it is difficult to know what is the exact cause immediately. Knowing ups and downs for a couple, and even individually, it's normal. It is when there are only lows that there can indeed be danger. But if the couple is also close, that is to say that everyone continues to have tender gestures towards the other, regular and sincere attentions, if there is always the same tenderness and the same complicity, he There is no need to worry. Maintaining a bond with your partner can be done in many ways.
Is there a risk that the frustrated partner will go elsewhere?
Frustration is indeed a very difficult thing to live with, and like everything, of course it also has limits. If sex is important for the "helpless" partner, the person may not be able to live the situation well and look elsewhere for what she does not find around her anymore. It does not necessarily mean having sex with someone else, but feeling like you're wanted again by someone, for example. That's why you really have to communicate. Dialogue, not just in times of crisis, is really essential for a couple, because the danger, especially here, is that the situation is getting worse. If you feel the need, consulting someone can help to take stock, and release some unspoken, which, by force, can be a source of tension.
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